Hackers Underworld 2: Forbidden Knowledge/Hackers Underworld 2: Forbidden Knowledge.iso/HACKING/FREEBG5.TXT

Text File | 1994-07-17 | 10KB | 231 lines

I love to not have to pay!

 1: Freebage 1-Elementary Bernsteining
 2: Freebage 2-Professional Bernsteins
 3: Freebage 3-The Super Bowl Story
 4: Freebage 4-Bootlegging Concerts
 5: Freebage 5-Eating for free

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F     R  R  E     E     B  B  A A   G      E        5
FFF   RRR   EEE   EEE   BBB  AAAAA  G  GG  EEE      5555
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F     R  R  EEEE  EEEE  BBB  A   A   GGG   EEEE     5555

*********************** MEALAGE *************************
*                         by                            *
*                   --> DISMAY <--                      *
*                of the Injustice League                *
*********************************************************
Dec 4, 1989                                       3:05 pm

****
Huh?
****

     Well hello kiddies and welcome to
 another installment of
the Freebage series.  If you haven't been introduced to the
Freebage files, then get Freebage 1-4 (particularly 1 and 2)
so that you will better understand the ideals behind these
files.  File 1 and 2 introduce the Bernsteiner to the various
methods of getting things for free, 1 being an introduction,
and 2 a more advanced study.  Freebage 3 is a story involving
the uses of the techniques discussed in 1 and 2, and 4 is
called Bootleggage, to learn about taping and selling
concerts.

    It's been a while since I've written any Freebage stuff,
and since the last installment my friends and I have come up
with several new methods of getting things for free.
     This issue covers what we like to do the most now, get
food for free, thus the title "Mealage," which means getting
a free meal.  So, read on and enjoy yourself!

*********************************
Flip them burgers, hup, hup, hup!
*********************************

     Boy, aren't you hungry?  But I bet that you don't have a
bit
of money on you.  Sucks, doesn't it?  Well, you don't
have to go hungry.. all you need is a car and a little bit of
guts.
     This method of getting food for free is good when you
are wanting food right then... you can't wait till you have
money, etc., you have to eat NOW!
     First, get in your car.  You don't have one?  Get a
friend to drive, it doesn't matter, just make sure the driver
is cool, because the driver usually has to do the work.
     Then, go to your nearest drive-thru fast food place, and

enter the lane to get food.  Now, I know you don't have
money, but not to worry.  Pull up to the ordering sign and
wait.
     "Can I take your order?"  Blasting out of the speaker.
     "Uh, hello, I was here about a half an hour ago and
picked up food, and you forgot my -(fill in with what you
want)-."
     "Do you have a receipt?"
     "It's in the bag."
     If they continue to hassle you for a receipt, get angry.
Tell them that this happens to you every fucking time you go
there, and you are sick of it.
  You had to drive all the way
back to get the missing ________ and you aren't going to be
satisfied unless you get what you want.
     They should now give you the food that they supposedly
forgot.  This works good everywhere, because these shitholes
have a policy that says that if someone says that they were
shorted, they have to owe up.  In short, "the customer is
always right," even though you aren't a "real" customer.
     When doing this, don't go overboard.  Don't say that
McDonald's forgot your Big
Mac, your large fries, your 32oz
Sprite, etc.  Narrow it down to one or two items, preferably
of the same ilk.  Like go to Burger King and get the burgers,
go across the street to Kentucky Fried Chicken to get the
drinks, etc., etc.
     This always works without a hitch, unless, and this is a
big unless, you go to the same place and do it often until
they can recognize you.  Make a mental note of where you have
been and be sure not to do it that often.  It's good if you
do it once on a Monday, and then the
 next time on a Friday,
because the chances that you get the same good working the
window is slim.
     Ok, I am sure that if you run into any problems you
should be creative enough to work them out.  Just remember,
their job is to serve you well, even if you are ripping them
off (as long as they don't know that you are ripping them
off) so don't ever back down once you start talking to them
or you will "ruin" that place because they will surely
remember you.


****************************************
In a
land of spatted foil water bison...
****************************************

     You're sick to death of fast food and you want something
good.  Something expensive.  But you still have not a cent to
piss on.  If you are determined enough, you can eat at any
restaurant in your particular city, for free.
     Requirements:
               A phone
               A nice set of clothes
               An adult voice
     These should be easy enough to come by, unless you are a
kid, which fortunately enough for
me, I'm not.  So, round up
these things and get ready.
     Pick out a nice place to dine at and call them up.
     (The following is a transcript from an actual call.)
     RING RING RING
     "__________ Restaurant, can I help you?"
     "May I speak to a manager, please?"
     "Yes, who may I say is calling?"
     "______________"  (Name left out coz I ain't that
stupid, in this situation give them your REAL NAME)
     "Just a second."  Pause
     "Hi, this is Rick, how may I help you?"
     "Yes, this i
s __________, I was in your establishment
the other night with a business associate of mine, and we
went ahead and ordered, and when the food came out it was a
bit cold."
     "Oooo."
     "Well, I understand that this happens every once in a
while, it was quite busy that night.  So we told the waiter
and he took it back into the kitchen.  Well, the problem is,
when he brought it back, it was even colder than it was when
we first got the food."
     "That doesn't seem possible!"
     "I know, that is what i
s so odd!  I come into your
restaurant very often, and this is the first time that this
has happened.  And to make things worse, the waiter didn't
even act like anything was wrong.  It was like he was totally
indifferent to what was going on."
     "What night was this?"
     "This was Saturday night." (Use any night as long as it
wasn't long ago, if you call Wednesday, tell them you were in
on Monday, etc.)
     "Well I was working that night, why didn't you ask to
speak with a manager?"
     "I would have
 liked to then, but as I said, I was with a
business associate of mine, and it was really an embarrassing
situation.  I didn't want to make things worse by causing a
scene.  I wasn't even going to call at all but I really feel
bad about what happened, I mean I have recommended your
establishment to several colleagues of mine, and I can't just
write this one off."
     "I know how you feel."
     "Well, I would just like to know what you could do to
make me want to come back to your restaurant, after all, I'
d
hate to see you lose a reputable customer."
     "Oh, I don't want to lose a reputable customer!  Tell
you what, how would you like to come in sometime this
weekend?"
     "Well, I am free on Friday night."  (Or any night that
you deem necessary.)
     "Ok.  Come in Friday night with your associate, and ask
for Rick.  I'll make sure that your meal is perfect, and I'll
pick up the tab."
     "Rick, that would be great!  I really appreciate this."
     "Well, like I said, I'm sorry this had to happen, and
d
on't want to lose good customer."
     "Thank you very much, see you Friday night."
     "Ok, good-bye."
     "Bye."
     We went in that Friday, and ate a rather large meal on
the house, not including alcoholic beverages (something about
the law).
     One of the keys to doing this successfully is to be
nice.  Don't get too angry with the managers of these places
or you will not fit the image you want to project.  The last
thing th